How To Raise Humanitarian Children
Who Lead Lives Of True Purpose And Create A Peaceful World
Humans may grow up to be humanitarians despite the parenting they received, but we parents (teachers and caregivers) can do much to help our children grow up to be humanitarians. Why should we want our kids to be humanitarian? For the sheer beauty of it! There is no real heroism without humanitarianism. There is no real possibility for true success, happiness and satisfying relationships without it.
The way to raise humanitarian children is simple: consistently respect the child’s sacred right to feel truly loved unconditionally.
But the inner work involved in this is rarely done. It’s typically scoffed at.
Humanitarian parenting helps the world by contributing to the development of a humanitarian child. A humanitarian child does not bully on the playground, but rather regards and tenderly, even strongly honors the sacred heart of life in all. If you have ever witnessed a child acting with true kindness, you know how deeply touching it is.
A truly humanitarian parent, teacher or caregiver is a truly humane individual who brings humanitarianism into his or her relationship with children. Such an individual believes first and foremost in his and her right to not become negative in the face of negativity, because negativity is the breeding ground of inhumane relationships.
A humanitarian stands for peace by not waging war in his and her own personal life. The true humanitarian has done the inner work to recognize that the ugly aggressiveness of verbal, emotional and physical violence is an attempt to get others to stop what that approach actually perpetuates: the inner state of emotional suffering that is unconsciously self-imposed.
A humanitarian adult may or may not be involved in large-scale social movements, but is definitely focused on recognizing how he or she actually functions in everyday human relationships.
One is only truly humanitarian when free of the inner states of hatred, spite and jealousy. There is no mean spiritedness. How many people claim they are humanitarian without really looking within to see the darkness they get caught up in? We at best aspire to be humanitarian through the purification of our hearts.
The true humanitarian does not feel justified in going on the attack, but rather recognizes that such justification perpetuates the internal suffering that drives the desire to attack.
The true humanitarian is first and foremost a devotee of the inner self-exploration that liberates him or her from the self-created problems and suffering that would otherwise drive them into inhumane way of relating.
Authentic humanitarians relate with themselves with the same true depth of compassion that they advocate for the treatment of others.
We find that even at the most prestigious gatherings and conferences dedicated to global children's rights, typically overlooked is the way that those rights are unconsciously overlooked by everyday "normal" parenting practices. Those rights include honoring the child's heart and the child's need to feel a measured sense of power.
As crucial as it is to meet the child's needs for food, shelter, education and physical protection from predators, the child has a right to be happy in his and her heart of hearts, which comes in part by honoring the child's need for a measurd sense of power and control over his and her life. That is essential for helping a child to grow into a humanitarian adult who not just advocates for world peace, but actually practices it in daily living.
Why is this issue so commonly ignored? One answer is that few realize the importance of it. Many adults, including those interested in humanitarian causes, were raised to be numb (without realizing it) to their own deeper heart and taught to devalue the inner work of true love’s liberation.
So many “westerners” today scoff at the idea of doing the inner work self-observation because they still believe that they can get the outer world and other people to do what they need to make them happy. This way of relating with the environment and with others is futile, always has been and always will be, and it lies at the core of inhumane treatment of the environment and of other people, especially of children.
The vain struggle to find happiness through control, manipulation and domination of others and of outer circumstances makes war, crimes against the vulnerable, the destruction of our natural resources, and the inhumane treatment of animals and forestry inevitable. It is only as we recognize and release ourselves from the internal suffering that we cause ourselves through the unconscious way that we relate with our thoughts and feelings within that we liberate the loving nature of our true selves and cease taking out our self-produced unhappiness on others.
As we relate more consciously with children we recognize how nurturing their true, loving hearts in the moment is nurturing our own, and how ignoring their heart’s calling to us deadens us to our own selves. We see how we pass onto children our self-sabotaging, destructive inhumane patterns wrought by fear, and how to release ourselves from our fears to transmit our greater love to them. As we practice the internal self-examining necessary to actually demonstrate humanitarianism our children learn from our example and profit from the depth of accurate understanding with which we relate with them.
People who do not do this inner work may call themselves humanitarians because of the groups they join or the social causes they contribute to, while they routinely hate themselves, verbally and emotionally (if not physically) attack others in their households, and ignore the heart-pleas of the child out of numbness or the fear of feeling too much.
To raise humanitarian children is really to save ourselves, because we abandon and lose ourselves when we permit our automatic emotional reactions and unexamined beliefs to rule our way of living and relating with children. As we look within ourselves to discover how we produce our own suffering through unconsciousness to ourselves, we naturally and automatically release the humanitarian potential in our children and raise them to create and thrive with others in a peaceful world.
Bob Lancer brings his inspirational message of raising humanitarian children for a peaceful world to schools, conferences, and global summits. His inspirational keynote on the importance of great teaching is perfect for reigniting passion in your school faculty for in-service days. He also inspires school support staff to help them to feel great about the important contribution they are making. Call Bob at 770-364-9580 or email to discuss your inspiring speaker or motivating seminar needs for your school staff.